… in town… A notorious top criminal who’s related to dear mommy-in-law.

Has she finally lost the plot and ordered a hit on one of our family members?

Or… is he here in this shit hole of a town for  a ‘well-deserved’ holiday?

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Locked your door and pretended you were not at home when someone came to visit you? You can call me an anti-social person I don’t care, but if I don’t feel like entertaining or talking to someone I lock the door. Now I have to be honest and say that our doors are always locked. Our front door opens straight into the living room which is something I don’t like so I always keep it locked.

Last night I was sitting behind the computer while DH was sleeping on the couch when I saw a car pull up into our drive way. It was one of DH’s brothers. The thing with that brother is that we NEVER see or hear from him unless he needs something from us and usually that something is money. I didn’t feel like talking to my brother-in-law and I also didn’t want to wake DH up because I knew he’d had some rough nights without sleep. So I didn’t open the door for my brother-in-law when he knocked on the door. He could not have known anyway if we were home or not.

Does it make me a bad person? I don’t think so! I think that only visiting your family whenever you think you can get some money is worse…

The waiting is over! The new baby is born and it’s a boy!!! I already thought it would be a boy, but my brother and his wife were convinced it would be girl. Her friends had even ‘re-decorated’ their garden with pink balloons and a ‘Hooray, it’s a girl’ sign. How wrong were they?

I have mixed feelings about it all. Of course I am over the moon that I have become an auntie again, but not being able to see the little bub makes me so sad. In fact I don’t think I have felt so shit in a long time. Depressed because it makes me feel so incredible homesick. Jealous because other people get to see my little nephew and I have to wait before I can hold him in my arms. Angry at the lawyers of the other party for delaying everything so I can’t see the baby yet and the legal costs are rising to jaw-dropping heights. Mad at my brother for not sending me new pictures or video’s every couple of days. I could go on and on, but no matter how much I complain it doesn’t change the situation.

So I’ve been spending my days on the internet, not updating my blog, but exchanging messages with anyone who is willing to listen to my whining or anyone who can tell me something funny to keep my mind of deep dark thoughts. I have even contact again with my ex. Yes, we’re ten years further and somehow we get along again. It’s sad…

Why is it that things seem to take forever when you are waiting for something? My brother and his wife are expecting a baby and she was due on the 17th of March. I am eagerly waiting by the phone to hear some good news.

I have some mixed feelings about it; I am excited to become an aunt again, but  on the other hand it is making me so homesick. I want to be there when the baby is born. I want to hold it and take a million pictures, etc. But unfortunately I will only see the baby on pictures send to me by email and/or through the web-cam. It kind of sucks.

The cool thing is that my family have chucked in some money for DH and me to fly over to Holland. Unfortunately we won’t be able to go until the claims for DH’s work accident and our car accident are finalised. This could be another couple of months…