The waiting is over! The new baby is born and it’s a boy!!! I already thought it would be a boy, but my brother and his wife were convinced it would be girl. Her friends had even ‘re-decorated’ their garden with pink balloons and a ‘Hooray, it’s a girl’ sign. How wrong were they?

I have mixed feelings about it all. Of course I am over the moon that I have become an auntie again, but not being able to see the little bub makes me so sad. In fact I don’t think I have felt so shit in a long time. Depressed because it makes me feel so incredible homesick. Jealous because other people get to see my little nephew and I have to wait before I can hold him in my arms. Angry at the lawyers of the other party for delaying everything so I can’t see the baby yet and the legal costs are rising to jaw-dropping heights. Mad at my brother for not sending me new pictures or video’s every couple of days. I could go on and on, but no matter how much I complain it doesn’t change the situation.

So I’ve been spending my days on the internet, not updating my blog, but exchanging messages with anyone who is willing to listen to my whining or anyone who can tell me something funny to keep my mind of deep dark thoughts. I have even contact again with my ex. Yes, we’re ten years further and somehow we get along again. It’s sad…

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